uncertainty

Next fall:
My best friend Emily is going to college in Tennessee. My other best friend Erin is going away to college in Ohio. My other other best friend Victor is going to college in West Virginia. I get to stay here and go to community college. We may adopt a three year old little girl from South Africa. That is wonderful news, but the thing is she has already been adopted. The family that has her now doesn't want to keep her, because she is not bonding with them. She steals food and has left the house in the middle of the night on a few occasions. So, my family is offering to take her in if it doesn't work out with her new family. i am so scared, but so excited. I might go to Africa this summer, but I might go next summer.

I am so tired of all this uncertainty. I feel like I don't know anything anymore, and my world is constantly changing. Work, school, family, friends... nothing will be the same come fall.

There are a few places where I feel at peace. One is the piano in our garage. I'm teaching myself how to play, and it calms my spirit down. The other is my room, at my art desk. I'm going to start a figure study.

What will the rest of this year bring for me? if I knew, I wouldn't be writing in this blog.